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Dear Lorraine,
I have been visiting your site for a while, but have only recently had a really good look at it. So many of your readers and correspondents seem to have experiences which ring true for me.
My cousin used to visit us most days when I was a child. My Mother was unable to get out much, following an accident, and although we had mobile shops in the area, my cousin, a girl about five years older than me, would be sent by her Mum most days to see if there was anything we needed. She cycled from her house, about a ten minute ride, and always wore a gaberdine mac, buttoned to the neck, with a headscarf tied under her chin. Often she wore her hood as well, and in bad weather she would wear an extra mac in a rubberised material, also buttoned up and hooded. She was often made to wear what she called her "rubber scarf" with it. This was a triangle of similar material, tied over her face with the sharp ends tied in a bow behind her head. It kept the rain from running down her front, she told me, but she didn't like wearing it at all.
When I was eleven, I got a place at the Grammar School some miles away, and had to go by train. My Aunt and cousin lived in a cottage very close to the station, and it was arranged that I would cycle to their house, leave my bike there and then get the train to school. On the first day, I rode to the station, dressed in my uniform of grey flannel shorts, long socks and polished shoes, with my wool jumper, wool blazer and gaberdine raincoat, which my Mother made me button to the neck over a woollen scarf. I was sweating by the time I got to my Aunt's. She was appalled at what I was wearing - I wasn't dressed nearly warmly enough for cycling, in her opinion, and she declared herself amazed that I had been allowed out so poorly dressed.
When I got home that evening, I found my Aunt had been busy making sure I was going to be warm enough. She had found a pair of my cousin's old rubber boots, and one of her old rubber raincoats, which she had outgrown. After a cup of tea, I was made to button myself into my gaberdine, and my Aunt then put on the waterproof mac, which she buttoned to the neck, and pulled up the hood. To keep it in place and snug, she tied a scarf round my neck, fastened at the back, and then produced a rubber scarf which my cousin had worn. She tied it over my mouth and nose, with strict instructions that it was to remain untouched all the way home, and that I was to wear the whole outfit every day to ride to the station.
I was dressed this way for school every day for the first five terms, including my first summer. In the second summer, my Aunt let me ride without the rubber scarf for a few weeks, but it went back on again in the Autumn. Only when I had outgrown the rubber coat completely, in the fourth form, was I allowed to wear just my gaberdine for cycling, although by then my aunt had found an oilskin cape and sou'wester from somewhere, for rainy days.
I had been very bad about wearing my gaberdine at Primary school, preferring to leave it off whenever possible, but by the time I left the Grammar school at sixteen, I was totally accustomed to being dressed in it, and I continued to wear one ever since. Since that time, I have worn a succession of raincoats, all gaberdine types, with a lot of them coming from Army Surplus stores. A firm called Sander and Kay, in North London, did ex-military raincoats, usually double breasted, and I had several from them. My wife, who was also a mac wearer, had a couple of ex-RAF nurses raincoats, which were double breasted. I wore one of them on several occasions, and they were very comfortable, although they could only be buttoned up on the left hand side. Buttoned to the neck, you didn't notice this, though. I still have one former military raincoat, a double breasted gaberdine in a sort of grey shade of RAF blue. It is now well past its best, but is worn regularly, always fully buttoned and belted, and I still enjoy wearing it. My wife now wears a Burberry trench coat which came from a charity shop a couple of years ago, and, like me, she always has to have it fully buttoned and belted. Indeed, we tend to check each other when we go out, and if it is raining, we always wear a nylon or vinyl mac over our gaberdines.
I have much to thank my Aunt for, but my cousin, once she left home, has hardly worn a raincoat since! As you commented after one letter, are we programmed to love our rainwear from before we are born? An interesting thought.
Do keep up the good work on the site - it is wonderful.
Best wishes,
Don
Dear Don
I agree with you - it is very interesting indeed that this kind of experience - down to a quite close level of detail - was shared by quite a few of us. You have the sense of something quite deep in people - Aunts and Mothers at any rate - driving them to make their nearest and dearest 'wrap up warm'. As you say, it sets us up for life - but some for and some against!
I can't help raising the question (I am driven myself!): do you think the fact that you were turned on to this way of dressing and your cousin was turned off had anything to do with the fact that she was a she and you were a he? Something genetic at work here, it seems, or the rigours of your Aunt's regime, which you shared, would have made enthusiasts of you both...
And would this be important too - that you were made to wear her rubber boots, and her old mackintosh? I always think there is something very important emotionally in wearing - especially being made to wear - someone else's things, and if you are a boy and the clothes you are made to wear are a girl's - well, that is a really big emotional punch - don't you think?
Many thanks indeed for writing - fascinating!
Best wishes
Lorraine
You comment on the fact that although I am now a dedicated raincoat wearer, my cousin is not, and you wonder about the effect of being a boy dressed in a girl's raincoat and hood.
I thought about this for a while, and I remembered that, when I was about twenty, I had a girlfriend whose Granny studied astrology. My girlfriend persuaded me to have my horoscope read, and, although I am neither particularly a believer or non-believer in astrology, I do vaguely remember being impressed by the old lady, who managed to pinpoint enough events and dates to convince me that she had some idea of what she was doing.
The relationship in question is ancient history, but I managed to remember a few comments from the session with Granny, which I would not have appreciated at the time.
One was that I had a definite need to be secluded or hidden away from time to time to recharge my energies. I have always been a bit claustrophobic so this seemed to be wrong.
The other comment, which I had forgotten until recently, was to the effect that in later years I would be very much influenced by the thinking and habits of my Mother, or of a similarly influential woman from my childhood. Because of my Mother's poor health and disability, my Aunt was a very dominant female from my childhood, so I suppose that this rings true.
The need to hide away could be reflected in the fact that I was completely covered, apart from my eyes, and I have been quite happy to be dressed this way at times, especially when the weather was cold or wet and I was on a bike!
Occasionally in bad weather, my wife will suggest that I wear a scarf when I go out, and I know she always means wearing it over my face. I always comply. As for the buttoned up raincoat, this is my Aunt's thinking without a doubt!
- Which brings me to the point: there seems to be something in us which predetermines our love of rainwear, of being wrapped or covered up, while other people do not share this love at all.
Don
Hi Don
Very pleased to have these further reflections - thank you.
I take it your argument this this. You were influenced by your Aunt but your cousin wasn't, so there must have been a different predisposition in the two of you? Not sure I see where your girlfriend's Granny comes in. Do you take it she was peering into the future, or discerning your then-present 'dispositions'?
Best
Lorraine
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