Club Foyer>Chillout Room>Depositions
Dear Lorraine,
I would just like firstly to say that finding this website has been an absolute treat, and thank you for setting it up. For many years, I have often felt confused or estranged by many of the feelings I get, and considered this to be an individual thing that I would sadly outgrow. Of course, I did grow up and matured, but I am wiser to those feelings and understand now that they'll always be with me. Amazingly, I only stumbled across this page after searching for a new raincoat on Google - just goes to show what a small world we live in!
I took the time to read all the of the lovely stories written before me, and was so intrigued to discover feelings and events that I never thought I'd ever have in common with other people. Since discovering the openness and detail with which these stories were written, I've felt amazingly happy in the knowledge I am not alone. In return, I can only offer my own memories, and I hope other readers find them of interest.
Generally speaking, my earliest experiences of those warm, fuzzy feelings you could get from doing the simplest things are scattered about my memory. Maybe it was a sign of things to come, but even when I was young enough to still be playing with my LEGO, I distinctly remember taking a fun pleasure from little things such as a trying on my dad's wellies, amazed at how big they were and feeling the rubber climb up my legs. He did a lot of fishing, so my shed was always stocked with his waders, wellies and other bits and bobs. Washing the dishes was certainly a pleasurable chore too - I would slip on my mum's latex gloves and dive into the bowl of water, feeling how the pressure of the water made the gloves tighter as I went deeper, and loose as I came back. Both of these were an imaginative form of role play in which I felt like someone important... Was I the diver about to discover some wonderful treasure? Or could I be an explorer deep in a cave? Either way these are just a couple of examples, but of course at this point in time, I was young enough for them to just be an innocent fascination. I couldn't comprehend why I liked the feeling of the rubber or being enclosed by over-sized clothes, it was just something that 'felt good'.
Although these were what I would consider 'now and again' events, the most frequent pleasure I got during my youth was almost normal to my everyday life. I live in the North of England, a part of the country that is well known for its cold weather and often rainy downpours throughout the year, and so for as long as I can remember, I spent much of my youth fighting to stay warm and dry!
Any chance to go out in harsh weather wasn't just an adventure - it was a challenge. My mum would walk me to and from school every day when I was little, and this consisted of her bundling me up from head to toe in the mornings. "Snug as a bug!" she'd say to me every time I got zipped up, and that was precisely how I felt. Wearing my lovely raincoat, a scarf wrapped right around my neck and over my mouth along with my hood up, I felt so safe and pleasured that it was actually horrible to take the garments off! One of the most striking aspects when reflecting on this point in time was how I wanted the seasons of the year to change so badly in my favour. For me, Winter was complete heaven as I could wrap up as much as I liked at any time, while I dreaded the Summer and the lack of security I'd feel from being bundled up! Sometimes I'd even pull a sickie to stay off school and wear my favourite clothing in bed, then dive under the quilt and live in my own, small cocoon, disconnected from anything else outside it.
As I got older, my feelings only got stronger and I began to experience two distinct pleasures; that for rubber (and other impermeable materials), and for enclosure. Entering my teens was the most frustrating time of my life, because I wanted to explore these feelings further, yet I didn't have the facilities and wouldn't dare tell anyone about how I felt. It was the beginning of a need to explore the sexual aspects of my life and body, which is what made it frustrating as it all felt so much more innocent when I was younger. I was craving any opportunity to feel or smell rubber, but even so, the events were like research. Some smells were very pleasurable, some were just ghastly, and some only got stronger over time! It was all trial and error, but I was constantly learning about myself.
My rubber 'encounters' were soon incredibly scarce, and I began to focus on my interest in enclosure. Of course, I didn't understand what the 'concept' of enclosure was! By looking at clothing and examining the feel of them, the shape and cut of them, I could somehow fathom whether they would make me feel safe and sexy, or of course not. Many events, thankfully, helped me explore this pleasure and between the ages of 13 and 16, I was, without wanting to sound dramatic, stepping into a whole new world - an academia, if you will, that would send me daydreaming for most of my school lessons.
The most enjoyable event would be, just like when I was younger, wrapping up. The difference with being older though was I could now not only pick only my jackets, but take an much greater interest in what made them feel good, how they smelt, and many other things. This began with my very first proper rain jacket; a Henri Llloyd sailing one, fully waterproof and windproof with more features than a swiss army knife! Combined with a scarf, I was in pure heaven wearing the jacket each day, much to the interest of my mum when the weather was clearly nice enough for t-shirts and shorts! One of my friends at school had an oilskin jacket - something which I was passionately jealous of it. The smoothness of it was to die for.
But there were a selection of other 'common' garments that sealed my entry into the world of enclosure. The most exciting of these were tracksuits with the elasticated ankles and wrists. They were back in fashion by my early teens, so I was completely sold over any opportunity to wear these clothes - despite some people calling them too retro, even then. The best were by 'Lacoste' and were just simple bold colours - any colour you could imagine. I eventually saved up for a baby blue one, and was not let down by the feelings it gave me. I think its fair to say this was my very first true 'driftwood' (between the legs..) in the sense that I felt so sexy, completely enclosed in beautiful soft cotton lining and a nylon outer shell. I would often lay on my bed, rubbing this smooth material and making ripples in it when it was nice and tight. Yet I wasn't happy when I didn't wear it. I was truly bothered by the notion that I may not have been normal, and didn't know who to talk to.
Unfortunately, any opportunities to feel nice and totally enclosed were very few and far between as I'm sure you can imagine. This, as I guess was the case for many others who have had similar experiences, was mostly down to our youth and the lack of a 'need' to get kitted up in specific garments. But when I was 15, there really was a great excuse to do so, and it's a time of my life I'll never forget.
I was in the Air Cadets at the time - an attempt, really, to make better use of my evenings with my friends (there were just 8 people in my First Class group), and after what had already been about 2 months of being involved with it, we were told one night that we would start Rifle training. "Big deal" I thought - I won't need these skills later in my working life. But my mood was about to change drastically. To begin the session, our instructor had retrieved a set of keys from the front desk and made his way to a small, shabby looking door that I never seen opened before. Very authoritatively, he opened up the door, and after stepping inside carefully, a flick of the light switch gave way to an entire room filled with green coveralls, wellies, boots, helmets, scarves, gloves... every kind of protective clothing you could possibly think of! And all in such a modest little room!
Visually, it just looked sensational. The thought that all this clothing had been so near by for all this time and I didn't even know about it. Considering I had never worn much of this type of clothing before, the excitement was quite extreme from even just understanding the concept of the clothing, and not feeling it. On top of this, it was the smell that bellowed out of the room as the door was struck open, hitting me on the nose in an instant. I'll never forget it as it smelt of the most wonderful scents ever - Rubber, oil, brass, even PVC. This was one of the first occasions a 'smell' had become a 'sensation' as it were, and deep down I felt excited from it.
This was only the beginning though. Our instructor, a rather boring man who was typically the "Chocks away! Tally Ho!" type (though, typically again, not afraid to shout), appeared back in the door frame with coveralls under each arm. He walked up to our little group of about 8, dropped the coveralls on the floor and told us to find one that fit.
Rummaging through these wonderful garments just felt heavenly, though I tried not to let on of course! They were all green coveralls and had a distinct fresh, brass smell to them, which was just lovely and natural. After finding one that seemed to appear the right size from holding it in front of me, I quickly clambered in to it and pulled the zip right up, causing the suit to wrap right around my body like a second skin. Within a matter of seconds of inspecting the suit and feeling it close to my body, I began to feel a turn-on that was very different from anything I had ever felt before. My tummy felt like a sack filled with butterflies, but also, I was experiencing a clothing sensation that I didn't think could be so heavenly. I just wanted to roll about in my suit, knowing that I was ever so warm and cocooned!
Unfortunately, the training only lasted for 3 weeks, and I was distressed to find that I didn't need more practice as I already had a "superb" shot! Laughably, despite my success, I was quite upset I couldn't continue, and all I could do was try and simulate those feelings I had of being so wrapped up and comfy each night in bed with my sheets. It was never the same of course, but my imagination was my only other guide.
As a memory of this time, I kept my Target cards that we used to fire at as a reminder of my entry into special world and the feelings they give me. They remind me of the little things, such as asking myself how I could hide my 'driftwood' as we were indoors with our suits on, and of course the feeling of laying down in firing position, feeling my suit contract nice and tight.
I'm in my 20's now and, of course, a lot wiser as regards my sexuality thanks to the wonders of modern communication and general maturity on my behalf. But rather than suppress my feelings, they are more important to me than ever as I see them now as an adventure. Every time I smell rubber, I become a radar, instantly looking for the source! And when I see it, I immediately can't help but want to rush over and feel its smoothness, its shiny surface. Does that make us weird? From my perspective, it'd be more weird to lack any imagination in your life.
Though I rarely get the opportunity these days to be as warm and fuzzy inside with 'those' special feelings (which does make me sad), I just hope one day I can meet a like-minded partner who shares the same desires. Not for my benefit alone, nor for hers, but rather for the 'shared' sensual experience that could be generated by something so simple and practical as a garment. It is the bond through feeling safe in the presence of someone who understands you. And it's this understanding of the soul, I believe, that can only under-pin everything else you both encounter in life, for nothing could get more sensual than being able to share those feelings.
Love, 'T'
Dear T
Very glad you have found us! And intrigued us with this very clear, very interesting story.
What strikes me most powefully is your age - do you really mean you are only twenty something? Most people who are interested in the site are much older I'm fairly sure. I've always thought the interest in rubberised garments is linked to the omnipresence of rubber in Europe and North America in the forties and fifties. Way before your time!
Oh well, disproving hypotheses is the way forward, so really valuable to have your expreiences in that way too!
Hope you will keep in touch, maybe write some more?
Very best wishes, and thank you again
Lorraine
PS Another thought:The powerful link as you reveal it between rubber stuff and enclosure. I know for a lot of people they are connected but for you it's almost as though they were one and the same thing - that rubber's appeal is that you can get totally and impermeably wrapped up in it. - Except for one thing: the nose. From what you say the rubber smell knocks you down on its own, without any conscious thought of 'enclosure' or anything - just the smell. On the face of it the smell and enclosure are two completely separate things. Yet you experience them almost as two aspects of the same thing - ? Have I got that right?
Lots more here for me to think about!
On behalf of us all, thank you again.
Lorraine
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