Club Foyer>Chillout Room>Depositions

Damn this bloody thing!

Ginny is a work colleague, who I have known for some years. She has never married, had a fair few disasters with the male species when she has got involved with them, and often relies on a fair few of those who she works with to get things off her chest re men. Both of us live a long way from our office, as do many of our other colleagues, so it is not unheard of for plenty of socialising, meal eating and wine drinking to take place in and around our favoured hotel for business overnight stays near our office.

There have been occasions historically where I have made bungled attempts at zipping up my Parka in Ginny’s proximity – particularly when she is in a mac of course. I’ve never outwardly asked her to “zip me up.” I don’t like doing that. I’m always happier when a lady sees that it needs doing, and that for some reason I can’t do it, and then to have them feel a need to intervene. Under those circumstances it is them that have made the decision to help, rather than me asking them to. That makes me more comfortable with the whole thing. My other depositions that you have put up all feature that sort of thing, as you have doubtless identified. The true story of Ginny is a celebration of perseverance though – so here goes with what has happened.

I made my first bungled sausage fingered attempt at fastening my coat under Ginny’s nose about 18 months ago. We’d come out of a restaurant and it was drizzling. She was wearing a black Tesco mac (lovely FandF label gave that away) and saw fit to button it up against the drizzle. I made a few cursory swipes at my own coat’s zip, but she didn’t seem to notice. After a moment I stopped walking and said something like…. “Just a mo while I do this up….” I proceeded to make what I thought was a pretty pathetic effort at the zip. The sort that normally ends with nearby ladies who know me saying the golden words…. “Ohhhhh…. Come here!”

Not Ginny though….. She said NOTHING. After a few seconds, I made a decision that things weren’t going well….. I snapped the zip apart again and said something like this……. “Sod it! Stupid thing…. I’ll go undone. It’s easier…!”

I know from experience that a statement like that is often enough to trigger the “oh come here” reflex in a lady, if they haven’t got there already simply by watching the bungled attempt at the zip…

Not Ginny though…. She still said nothing, and we walked back to the hotel…. Her done up in her black Mac…. Me undone.

Now I do like a challenge…………. This really made me want to find a way of getting Ginny to fasten my coat for me, particularly when she was in a Mac. I should stress that we spend a lot of time together in the hotel near the office, and whilst there are often others there too, if there are only two people from work staying in the hotel, it will often be Ginny and me. This has become increasingly the case. She can be quite “touchy feely” despite her lack of response to Mr Sausage Fingers and his undone Parka – though I should stress that nothing sexual has gone on (nor will it.) She once cried about something that happened at work and I did cuddle

her – so it’s not as if there is no physical sensitivity at all between us. This whole set of circumstances took me somewhere I’d never been before in the sausage fingered doing up stakes though…. A lady with big emotions, who had been in receipt of cuddles (albeit innocent ones) who seemed unprepared to soften enough to intervene and zip up her friend, who was pretty obviously in need of help…

I fell to wondering if she just didn’t want to help, didn’t want to be seen to help by passers by, was hesitant about helping in case that was not what I wanted – or whether she was genuinely crap at doing up zips!

Either way. I decided that I could perhaps push this a bit more, even though I really didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable, and pressured into zipping me up. I’d never want anyone to feel that, and as such, I guess I had to tread a fine line between trying to get her to intervene and just letting it go.

It took until mid winter (last winter) for me to get another opportunity. I’m afraid I wasn’t that imaginative in my approach… Another meal, in a different restaurant, on a different wet night, with a different walk back to the hotel. Some things were the same though…. The Tesco mac was in use - and so was my Parka. Once again Ginny buttoned herself up and we set off to walk back – with my Parka unzipped. I thought better of stopping to make my bungled zip attempt this time, and kept walking (which actually makes bungling it easier.) It was a good 10 minutes walk to the hotel. After about 8 of those minutes she suddenly turned to me and said this…… “You might as well leave the bloody thing unfastened now – because we’re almost back!” We both laughed - and I dropped the zips two undone sides.

Game over then?? Well…. I thought so. I took a decision not to do any more bungling under Ginny’s nose. Ever since then though, whenever there has been an occasion when we are outside together in a work capacity I have made sure that firstly, I am wearing my Parka, and secondly, that it is unzipped! There have been some occasions when the weather has been very wet…. Some when it has been very cold - and sometimes both, but I NEVER zip it up when near her.

One night in November, on walking to a restaurant from the hotel, she tugged at one side of the unzipped Parka, which was flapping in a gale, advertising overtly its undone status….. Then she spoke…. “You’ll catch your death….”

I spoke too….. “I’m sure I’ll live…” I suppose it might have been easier to respond to her comment with a fresh bungled attempt at the zip, followed by a “little boy lost expression,” and a pause to see if she would intervene…. I guess I was worried that I might get another uncomfortable moment with her over this though, so I did none of that, and continued with the overt flapping as we walked. Would Ginny intervene anyway??? Would I get a sudden “oh come here for God’s sake!” ???

Nope! She just kept on walking.

This takes me to last Wednesday…. We were the last two to leave the office for the 10 minute walk to the hotel. Ginny looked splendid. She has a new, bright red, calf length, double breasted Mac, with big black buttons and really chunky black buckles on her cuff straps. She buttoned it up with purpose whilst still inside the building, and buckled up the belt with a real whoosh and some efficient sexy clicking as the buckle engaged…. I went undone, as always.

When we got outside the weather was FOUL. A gale was howling and the rain was coming down like stair rods!! I love it when its like that, but I have to say, it was SO wet that I really felt I needed my coat done up. I still stayed strong though, allowing my coat to flap overtly as it had before, though I did put the hood up for myself – whilst still leaving the zip undone. Ginny was busy attempting something awkward which I found hard to believe under the circumstances. She was trying to light a cigarette! I suppose since the smoking ban, smokers have to take every opportunity to light up - and those opportunities always come outside when in public. She did remarkably well actually, getting herself a fully functioning cigarette within a few seconds. I did notice that she was surveying me as she lit it though…..

With the cigarette aglow, and with little warning and no words, she crouched slightly in front of me, cigarette perched out of the corner of her mouth……….. Suddenly I felt something and looked down to see that she was tugging both sides of undone zip towards the floor, making them taut, as ladies always seem to do when zipping another up...

She spoke, through the cigarette with shed loads of authority…

“This needs doing up, and you can never do it can you?? Stand still for a moment while I sort it!”

The very fact that I had needed to wait so long for this moment was glorious enough in itself. Add in that her red mac was a really provocative coat and you have another piece of cocktail.

Now add, that this particular Parka of mine really does have a tricky zip – probably thanks to my tampering with it with some pliers…… and you get a picture of tingling delight at the top of the scale. I studied her hands and wrists as she fumbled…….

“It’s no bloody wonder you can’t do this thing….”

The rain was thumping on my hood… She released the zip and took a drag on her cigarette! I thought it was over – but NO!

She crouched again……..

“Have you ever managed to fasten it??????”

I told her it was awkward – but that the best hope was for someone else to do it, and to crouch slightly, pulling it tightly in the way she just had! This was enough to encourage her…. She perched the cigarette back in her mouth and crouched again – her hair soaking now!!

“Damn this bloody thing!”

and then…..

“Stand still will you?”

It was all I could do to manage that. The black buckles on her cuffs went this way and that, and without making any physical contact at all she sent an amazing electricity through my body in the way that only a mackitoshed lady doing me up can! She was right up there with the best of them….

After what must have been about 30 seconds (that’s a long time to clip a zip together at the bottom – isn’t it) she finally got the zip joined with a satisfying “clonk” and pulled it up to my chin.

Later that evening we had a meal together. She fastened me up again without any consultation about whether I wanted her to (sadly inside the hotel, out of the rain this time) before we left the hotel for the restaurant. It is normal to tell someone to “come here” before zipping up – but Ginny didn’t. She just fastened it with no warning.

On leaving the restaurant I managed to get outside before she did it - and it was magical again…

On Thursday morning, she confronted me without words in the hotel lobby, already buttoned into her Mac, and fastened the zip up for me again, as we left the hotel. This time we were watched by the hotel manager who looked amazed to see an adult lady fastening another adult’s coat. I looked him squarely in the eye…. “Bloody daft coat this one. The zip’s impossible from inside it – so I have to get help from elsewhere!” He nodded – knowingly! She was having an electric effect on me, yet with no physical contact. I shall remember her interventions for ever - and I wouldn’t be surprised if she does it all again one day soon!

Yours happily

Andy Mac