Club Foyer>Chillout Room>Depositions
It was a Tuesday. The preceding few days had been very hot. 30 degrees plus near Crawley. I was visiting friends and had to return home on that day. I had to catch a bus about 1pm back to London.
It was hot and oppressive but the clouds were beginning to build in the south. There was a rumble of thunder as I was ready to go to the bus stop, and it was obvious it would rain soon.
My friend Jo had recently bought a Burberry trench coat off ebay and laughingly suggested that it would probably fit me if I needed it. Just as she said it there was a flash of lightning followed by a loud clap of thunder. I am used to wearing macs (but not women's) so I said if she was serious I would consider it. Several thunderclaps and flashes later I was ready to leave for the bus. Jo pulled her mac out of the wardrobe and thrust it at me. She said I had better wear it - that no one will notice it's a woman's. It was obvious it was going to rain so I swallowed my pride and slipped it on.
It was an old-fashioned, long, beige Burberry trench mac with belt, epaulettes, and all the usual trimmings. Amazingly it was almost a perfect fit.
I was ready to go to the bus stop. There was another flash of lightning and the sky had turned jet black after the blue skies of earlier. Jo said it would not be safe for an umbrella so she went into her handbag and pulled out a pouch with a rain bonnet in it. She said that since I was wearing a womans mac I might as well take the bonnet as well. I took it off her and slipped it into the mac pocket. I did not intend wearing it! I was ready to go to the bus stop. I buttoned up, feeling weird that the buttons were on the womans side. And left. Jo told me not to worry.
As I walked to the bus stop which had no shelter there was thunder and lightning but no rain, then plop! A huge spot landed on my mac, followed a couple of seconds later by another. Then another and another.
The rain had started, and without an umbrella I was worried about my hair. I debated the bonnet. What if someone I knew saw me?
Just as I reached the bus stop there was a electric blue flash and deafening thunderclap followed by an absolute downpour! Mind made up, I pulled the bonnet out of my mac pocket and put it on, pulling the peak forward. It could only be likened to standing under the Niagara falls as the relentless rain beat down on my waterstained mac. Thank God there was no one else at the bus stop.
The mac started to shine around the shoulders as the water started to soak in. Then my rain bonnet started to drip onto my nose. After 5 minutes or so of relent leas thunder, lightning and very heavy rain I was beginning to feel dampness around my shoulders and my rain bonnet was beginning to glue to my hair, I felt a cold trickle around my neck, and at the same time another trickle under the crown of my bonnet.
Surely Jo's mac hadn't failed me?
Further trickles confirmed my fears. The thunderstorm continued: and still no bus. I remembered Stormstroller's accounts of the monsoon and knew exactly how she felt!
After 15 minutes of torrential rain the bus arrived. I was absolutely drenched, literally soaked to the skin. The rain had soaked through my pockets and the return bus ticket I offered to the bus driver was soaked. Though the print was pretty much illegible,the lady driver said she would accept it considering the state I was in. I thanked her. I noticed everyone looking at me as I squelched to the nearest seat leaving a dripping trail behind . I felt humiliated as I pulled my dripping rain bonnet off,but at least no one had noticed it was a womans mac!.
Two hours later I arrived home, and rang Jo to tell her my story. She told me that the thunderstorm that soaked me so badly had spread through the south east and East Anglia, and she told me to keep the mac and rain bonnet as a trophy to remind me of the day I got drenched in a ladies trenchmac (as if I could ever forget it)
Ps. My new mac took two days to dry out and is now hanging on one of my hangers in the hall, and I fear that it is no longer proofed so will only be used with an umbrella.
Although the deluge took place in Crawley while I was en route for London, I only work in London and do not live there all time. My home is in Shropshire, and at present I am home again.
A few days ago my mother visited my apartment, and happened to notice Jo's Burberry Mac in the hall. Naturally she was curious as to why a ladies mac was in my bachelor pad. Obviously, I did not relate the story to her as she would have been horrified at me wearing a woman's mac. I advised that Jo had been to Shropshire over the weekend and had left it behind by mistake !! I explained that it was off ebay and she wasn't to bothered about it being here. My Mother nodded her head and changed the subject. I didn't think anymore about it.
Then suddenly a week or so later Mother arrived at my door with a package in her hand. She thrust it into my hand and asked me to open it. I did not know what to expect so I opened it. I took the polythene wrapper off and opened the large cardboard box inside.
There it was .
A LONG TRENCHMAC. With all the trimmings. Epaulettes, Gun Flap, Storm Tab, Belt, and 4 Button Fastenings including a Top Collar Button.
It was Beige, and about 50 inches long, collar to hem, and had an Aquascutum label on it. I was astonished . Mom said Jo had inspired her to buy me one off ebay She also asked if Jo would mind if she took the woman's Burberry for herself .
I pretended to ring Jo from the kitchen and came back into the lounge to advise that it was not a problem. Mom was thrilled and tried the mac on. It was slightly big but was a passable fit. She also discovered the rainbonnet in the mac pocket and said that was a bonus. Remembering the proofing may be damaged I advised caution and told her to use an umbrella with it. She told me not to be so foolish as she always carried an umbrella with her when rain threatened.
Anyhow, she said, haven't you got a dental appointment on Wednesday in Shrewsbury? Wouldn't it be nice for us to go shopping afterwards and especially if we were both in our new macs !! I was not overly impressed at that idea but could not get out of it ! As Mom left she said see you on Wednesday morning - "Oh and don't forget to bring an umbrella in case it rains!" I secretly hoped it would rain as it would be less embarrassing, even though Mom might get drenched .
I eagerly awaited the weather forecast on Tuesday night. "Sunshine and scattered showers." So there was hope.
Wednesday arrived. "Sun and 17 degrees" ! My dental appointment was at 9am. So I set off, mac on but not fastened, and a long black walking umbrella.
Mum called to advise she would meet me outside the dentist's after my appointment. When I arrived at the dentists, the receptionist gave me a bemused look, glanced at the window and looked back at my mac. Her thoughts were obvious.
Anyhow I sat in the waiting room with my mac on. Everyone else in T- shirts or jumpers. I looked so out of place. I even looked forward to seeing the dentist as at least I could take my mac off in the dentist's chair.
After the appointment Mom was waiting outside, all macked up as promised, carrying a furled plastic see-through birdcage-style umbrella. We walked up the hill from the station towards the shops, Mom insisting I was properly belted and buttoned - but "as it was quite warm" I need not fasten the top button, though I should turn the collar up like hers. We must have looked odd. two trenchmacked people with umbrellas walking through a busy town centre on a dry sunny day !.
We walked into a newsagents to buy a paper. The sales girl looked at us and asked us sarcastically if we were expecting a thunderstorm ? Mom laughed and said "You never know!" I blushed. Anyhow we trundled on through the looks and stares.
Eventually it was time to go home. We waited for the bus in the station shelter.
There was one other person waiting, a woman in her early fifties. She looked over at us. I awaited the facetious or curious comment. She turned and said - "Isn't it a nuisance when you misjudge the weather? Mind you they are gorgeous macs. Are they Gaberdines ? Everyone will be envious when it does pour!"
Mom explained how they were Burberry and Aquascutum and how she had come acv ross the bargains. The woman advised her name was Mrs Morris and she told Mom how lucky we both were and how she would try her luck on ebay. Mum and Mrs Morris sat by each other on the way home discussing the merits of macs and other rainwear.
So I suppose every cloud has a silver lining (excuse the pun). Now all I need is wet weather to test my new Aquascutum. I shall look forward to that !
Drenchmac
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