A Family Affair

Dear Lorraine

I have lived for several years with my lesbian partner, who is the dominant one of the two of us. I also work as a PA to her sister, so it is a family affair for me.

When I first went to live with Jo, I dressed quite ordinarily, and rarely wore any sort of raincoat. However, Jo was concerned that I was getting a lot of undue attention from various people, both male and female, when we were out, and she suggested that I should begin to cover myself up when I was out. As I love Jo so much, I agreed, though I was less than keen to begin, but now we have a standard pattern for each day when I go to work. I like to be at work by 8.00 each morning, so I can be at my desk by 8.15 before other people arrive for an 8.30 start, so by 7.15 I am dressed in my office uniform of trousers, grey socks, white blouse buttoned to the neck, and a round-necked jumper over the blouse, with the blouse collar on the outside. I am then ready to have my outer clothing put on, to walk to work completely covered.

I wear overtrousers made of waterproofed nylon, which I tuck into my wellington boots. Then, I kiss Jo goodbye, usually a long lingering kiss, before having my mouth wrapped in a long silk scarf which she ties very tightly at the back. I wear a white silk balaclava which covers my forehead, mouth and nose, and long thermal gloves which come halfway to my elbows. Usually when the weather is cooler I wear a secong light blue balaclava, and in winter I wear a heavier third one in navy blue. Next I wear a cagoule, which is a pullover type with a short zip at the throat. It has a crotch strap which comes from the back under my crotch to the front, and was held in place by a button. Jo has sewn a metal ring to the strap, and another to the front hem of the cagoule, and the rings are fastened by a small padlock. The hood cannot be worn down, as the cords have been pulled tightly enough to fit very snugly over my balaclavas, and metal rings about 3/4 inch diameter have been sewn to the cords to make sure they cannot go back into their channel. A keyring (split ring) is attached to the puller on the zip, and with the addition of a couple of extra split rings, the three lots of rings meet and are secured by another padlock. (The split rings are glued up with araldite to stop them from being opened once they are in place.) The elastic cuffs inside the cagoule stop my gloves from falling down.

Last winter, Jo made a mask of the same material as the cagoule. It is like a bag in front of my face, with a hole to breathe through, but made of two layers of material. It is shaped to fit under my chin and down my throat by a few inches, and high enough to cover my nose, to just under my eyes. It fits back as far as my ears, and there are three elastic straps at each side, covered in the nylon material, with a ring on each strap. On the back of the hood are sewn three rings, one behind my neck, one just over halfway up the hood, and one in between. The straps are fastened to the rings and padlocked again, thus securely locking me into my waterproof. The mask felt strange at first, but now I love it, and I always have a special hug for Jo when she has locked me into it.

My topcoat is a long raincoat of a style popular in the nineties. It is a plain double breasted style, with a belt and a wide collar, and comes halfway down my calves. To protect my hands, Jo has sewn a pair of warm mittens into the inside of the cuffs, so as I have my gloves as well, it means that she must button and belt me into the coat. When the belt is fastened, Jo puts the end through the keeper at the right hand side, and then locks the ring sewn to the belt into the keeper. I cannot undo the belt at all. The top button has been removed and replaced with a metal ring about 2cm across, with a bar across the middle. I think it was some sort of belt buckle at some stage, but sewn to the coat by the bar, it does as well as a button. There is a length of chain, the sort used to attach a plug to a sink or bath, attached to the buckle by a split ring, and the chain is passed to another ring sewn under the collar at the back of my neck, and locked in place. The collar is worn down, hiding the chain and lock.

At 7.30 I set off to walk to work, about half an hour away. We have a last long hug, before Jo kisses me throught my mask, and I go on my way knowing how lucky I am to be so loved, cared for and protected against the world. If it rains, Jo puts me into a waterproof PVC cape and hood, but this is not locked on as I can't undo it anyway, though there is a buckled strap at the collar, which she always fastens. Sometimes, if I think it might rain on the way to work, I will point to my cape and then put my hands together, prayer style, to ask Jo to dress me in it. She usually does.

At work, Jo's sister Hannah meets me and we go to our office. She checks my locks and buttons, and undoes the locks and buttons on my coat. Once the coat is off, she unlocks my mask, and removes it, before unlocking my hood and crotch strap. I may then take off my cagoule, wellington boots and waterproof trousers, finally removing my balaclavas. Hannah then unties my scarf, and I am allowed to put on my shoes and start work. I do not go out at lunchtime, as Hannah keeps me in the office away from other people, and gets me whatever I wish to eat. When the other staff leave at 4.45, I remain at my desk until 5.00 when they have all left the building, and then Hannah tells me to finish work and be dressed up. She always binds my mouth very tightly, and dresses me much more quickly than Jo does, before sending me home fully wrapped and locked up.

To my amazement, I find that I actually love being dressed this way. I never leave the house now on my own without being totally covered and locked in, and even if Jo is with me - at weekends, for example- I ask her to lock me into my outer waterproofs. Jo always wears her leather boots and a leather trenchcoat, fully buttoned and belted, when we go out together, but her face is unprotected, and I think she is very brave to stand the stares of all those people out there. I am so thankful that she loves me enough to keep me protected - "under wraps" - that I even ask to be dressed up to go into the garden.

I wrote this letter partly to answer Judith's question about locking a coat on, so I hope she will be able to use some ideas for herself and her husband. I wrote it also to share my good fortune with your readers, with Jo's blessing. I hope you are able to publish it.

Warm regards,

Alice M